My Not-So-Private-Anymore Journey Towards Self-Acceptance by Ellen Tailor

I have the honor and the privilege of working with an incredible lady, Ellen Tailor, on her personal journey toward Optimal Health. As her Coach, Advisor, and Biggest Cheerleader, it is wonderful to see her willingness to share her experience, her journey, and her heart with all of us. I applaud Ellen, co-host of Fitz in the Morning on The Wolf, for bravely sharing her journey with all of us.  She is our “Guest Blogger” and we encourage you to follow her story on this exciting transformation. We will be having her guest blog on our site as often as she has a new story to tell. Here is her blog, in its entirety…

“I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with the comments, emails and texts from friends and strangers alike about my last blog. The outpouring, while unexpected, was both comforting and terrifying. Here are just a few of the many comments I received…

“You just literally wrote every word inside my head and heart. No joke. I could go into some long explanation but as you know, it’s not needed because those feelings you describe said it all.”

“Ellen, I soooo get you! I’ve had the same struggle most of my adult life and I’m 60 now.”

 “Have you been reading my journal? I’m a guy and reading that was like looking in the mirror. I appreciate you. Thanks.”

“You are sooo my hero! You’re not the only one! I feel the exact same!”

Ellen in jacket - croppedA hero?! Wow. Some have put me on an undeserved pedestal. I don’t claim to be an inspiration because I haven’t achieved anything to be inspirational. (At least not yet.) Realizing now that many struggle the way I do, I’ve chosen to continue my journey publicly.

Selfishly I write because expressing my struggles releases the stress that consumes me. I write for me just like I’m losing weight…for me. I don’t write to inspire. I don’t write to get attention. I write solely to get the negative thoughts, the toxins, out of my body. A mental detox to work alongside the physical one if you will. If others can take something positive from my experience then I welcome you inside my crazy, scared, and hopeful mind.

It was time for a new beginning. I started fresh. A clean slate. There was no judgment. No judgment at all in having to start over. There was, however, encouragement and understanding. With Anne’s help, we set up a new plan. We even took pictures.

That morning I had woken up early and took extra time to do my make-up and dressed myself in an outfit that I felt really good in. I find if I feel comfortable on the outside, the inside follows suit. But if I was feeling confident then why was I afraid to have my picture taken? These are going to be my “before” photos but the reality is that they’re my “right now” pictures. It’s a mind trip knowing that I thought I looked great but in a few months, I’ll shake my head and think, “Why’d I ever let myself get like that?”

I promise to share those photos. I just can’t do it yet. Hell. I can’t even look at them myself let alone show them to anyone.

Recently I went on a hike with a great gal pal. While she’s in shape, she also works hard to keep a healthy lifestyle. As we hiked I found myself quickly getting out of breath. Thank God I brought Charlie, my dog, with me. He had to pee every few steps which gave me the perfect excuse to stop and catch my breath. A piece of me was embarrassed then I remembered that I wasn’t going to be like this forever. This was the hardest it was ever going to get. As we walked and talked I realized, I’d been thinking seriously about losing weight for four years. I could have lost that weight FOUR times since then if only I would have stopped thinking and started doing! Talk about a kick in the proverbial nuts.

In a perfect world what would my idea be of optimal health? I can list quite a few things off the top of my head. No more back fat! Not feeling insecure about my stomach when I sit down. And not feeling like my ass jiggles 30 seconds after I stop walking. More importantly, it’s about living the life I’ve dreamed about.

We’re all so consumed about being selfless. What’s wrong with being selfish? I wrote my blog selfishly hoping that it would make me feel better. The impact was more profound. Bigger than me. (No pun intended.) It brought many different types of people together in the common struggle of self image. Women, men, young, and old, we’re not alone. “If you’re not happy with yourself, how will anyone around you be happy?” I think I’m starting to understand what they mean.

Here’s where I try to convince even myself… This journey is about making yourself happy. The only way to be happy a week, a month, a year from now is to simply start today. Be happy with one day. Go to bed tonight knowing you accomplished one day because that’s all it takes to start! Just one day.”

What an incredible story and we just have to say you won’t get any judgment from us…ever! You are an adorable, smart, ball of fire that we know will be successful at Optimizing your Health. Thanks for inviting all of us into your soul and heart and letting us see the real Ellen. For those of you that missed the first blog post that started it all off, you can read about it at, “Ellen Tailor speaks from the heart…it’s about DREAMS!” We can’t wait for the next story…

21 Responses to My Not-So-Private-Anymore Journey Towards Self-Acceptance by Ellen Tailor

  1. Ellen, I have “known” you since you started working radio in GR. Last week when I read your FB page about your struggles, I wrote back with every intention of joining you in your journey. Low and behold – big time FAIL!. Today I got on the scale and almost choked. I have NEVER – let me say it again – NEVER been close to 200lbs before. I am 5’4″ minus 1/2″ ( sounds taller ) and when I got married I looked anorexic at 113. I know how this happened to me I LOVE FOOD! And I eat endlessly, mindlessly. Sometimes I don’t even remember eating because I have eaten so fast I never tasted it. I AM GOING TO START MY JOURNEY WITH YOU.. starting now.
    Thank you and keep the blogs coming our way.

  2. Kandy — It’s so great to “hear” from you again! The biggest hurdle to overcome is convincing yourself that today is the day you change. I have to tell myself that everyday and believe it. The blogs will keep coming as long as you promise to continue your journey with me.

    — Ellen Tailor

    • My goal for tomorrow – at least 45 mins of some type of physical activity..AND portion control. I do hate the weekends because of the social situations and what they bring :(

      • I’m right there with you, sister! What’s helped me is planning / preparing my meals ahead of time so I’m never caught off guard. Sometimes it’s hard because I’m not the best at doing that but I’m working on it! Also always have a quick, go-to back up plan such as an apple or other fruit you can munch on. Let me know how it goes!

  3. Ellen, You are definately an inspiration. You may not have lost the weight yet, but you took the first step to losing it, and thats realizing everything and wanting to do sometihng about it. thats step 1. way to go hun. Your amazing. I have been struggling with my weight my whole life. Every time i try to do something about it, its just to hard and i quit. If only I had the motivation. If only i had someone to push me along. But honestly, reading your blogs really helps me. It makes me WANT to start now…And keep going.
    Keep going girl. you will reach your goal before you know it. Just know there are tons of us rooting for you.
    We should set up somemting to get our community together every so often and start doing this together. Like start with a 5 mile walk somewhere!! That is just a beginning and no one would be doing it alone! Just a thought. Let me know what you think!!

    • Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment, Crystal! I totally know what you mean about it being hard. What’s the say? “If it were easy, everyone would do it.” But why can’t it be easy?! haha It helps to take it one day at a time. Keep at it!

  4. Ellen…this is going to be an amazing, life-chaning journey for you and something that will last forever! Taking this first step and publicly sharing your journey so everyone can support you and cheer you on is incredible! I just want to commend you for your transparency and authenticity. In today’s world, that is missing so it is very refreshing to see you bringing it back and sharing your life, your emotions, and your heart. Applause…

  5. I am so proud of you! The exciting thing about the Optimal365 program is that is NOT ABOUT DEPRIVATION! I am so proud of you! Your honesty is AWESOME! Your story mirrors many other people’s experience! Thank you for being bold and brave – it will inspire other people to step towards taking hold of their dream of Optimal Health!! Great to see you today! You are rockin’ it!

    • Oh Anne! You’re the best. Thanks for the shopping trip to Costco yesterday. Next time I won’t wear heels. xo.

  6. Hi Kid!
    I can’t tell you how proud I am of you. And yes, your words rang true to me as well. I’m going to start this journey with you too! You’re a true inspiration Ellen. Looking forward to it! (We miss you in GR!)
    Take good care Honey!

    • Hey Stranger! So great to hear from you. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and hopefully we can successfully accomplish this journey together. xo.

  7. Ellen… I think the many responses you received is because you struck a raw nerve in us, we share so many of the common emotions and experiences. We have so many of these things, but you were able to express them at a very deep level. So I join the many saying thank you in being so open with your journey and encourage us to better health and happiness.

    You have hit the bullseye when you mentioned that your blog is more profound than losing weight it’s about so many things that affects so many aspects in our lives…our self worth, body image, our relationship with our bodies, and our happiness and contentment. For too long, so many of us have bought into the lie that our worth equates to what size jeans we wear. You (and us) have so much value to our friends and family, that you cannot measure it. But the message from our culture it would be easy to fall into that belief system. So you have a great foundation in thinking we have to like ourself before others can do the same.

    Good luck on this journey to health and happiness and sharing and being an encouragement to us! We miss you in GR!!!

    • Hey Dennis–

      I should be the one thanking you! Thank you for taking time out of your day to read and more importantly comment. It means a lot to know that my crazy most inner thoughts aren’t falling upon deaf ears. What you said rings true…it’s not about the size of our jeans. I appreciate the support and hope you’ll continue to do so. Say hello to Grand Rapids for me. I sure do miss home!

      • Hey Ellen!
        I can guarantee that everyone who has made the attempt of living a healthier lifestyle, they have had many similar thoughts, so they are not too crazy! I started a plan to lose weight about 3 months ago, and what has helped is being persistent. Cuz there will be rough days, but I always says each day is a new day to make better choices. You are an inspiration to us to letting us on your journey. It can be done! Go Tigers!

  8. Ellen, I commend you for taking the first and most significant step in transforming yourself into the person you want to be. You are facing this head on with no more excuses and with an objective. You know what you want and you know you need help to get there.

    As Founder and CEO of Optimal365, I will tell you this is why we built this company – to provide you and everyone who has your kind story with a common-sense path to lifelong optimal health.

    What motivates me is that consumers are spending over $20 billion a year on commercial diet plans that have virtually no impact on the health of Americans. That is disgusting! It is also a rip-off! The average overweight American will be on 10 diets in their lifetime, diets that have failure built into them. It should be no surprise to you and others that diets have a 95% failure rate. So it is understandable that eventually folks just give up and give in, justifying why they are overweight instead of dealing with it.

    For years I personally knew I was a little overweight, but not that bad. Then one day my doctor told me I had diabetes and if I didn’t do something about it I wouldn’t be around as long as I wanted. I thought of my children and grandchildren and all of a sudden, I’m got motivated to take action. I discovered a solution which gave me HOPE and RESULTS. We have successfully treated hundreds of clients in our clinics, but they first made a personal commitment to change. Then you need a results oriented way to achieve your objective. Putting this all together is why I created Optimal365.

    Sharing your personal story was, I suspect, therapeutic for you. But I also give you my thanks because you have probably started to change the lives of others by going public with your innermost thoughts and feelings. Your life will be abundantly blessed by what you are doing here. We are honored to be a part of this journey with you and helping you achieve your goals. You know we are here to make the journey easy and we won’t give up on you…we don’t give up on anyone, EVER! I look forward to reading more of your journey and I have all the confidence in the world you will be successful!

    • Thanks for allowing me to become a part of this great team, Larry! I know that Optimal365 is my solution. After failing time and time again, I’ve found what WILL work.

  9. Ellen,
    From another Midwest transplant to the PNW
    (granted im from wi)
    I felt like i was reading what is in my head! I am joining this journey with u starting today! (im a mom of 2 and have been as my mom always excused it as heavy boned WTF that was an excuse itself) Today i start not a diet a lifestyle change! We can do it (and trust me i have done every diet in the book there is not quick wt loss it takes time and i think i just accepted that now it will take me forever to do this! Thank you for your blog!

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